Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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