I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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