I feel great
I just peed on a car
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize