I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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