her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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