he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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