so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
