Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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