Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize