just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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