I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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