I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
