i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
