It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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