I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
