Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
