Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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