this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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