Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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