hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
