she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
