just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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