We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
