if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
