I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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