It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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