so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
