Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize