There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
