You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
