I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Randomize
