last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
