I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
