is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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