im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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