it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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