I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm passing your future prison.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize