When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
