every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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