I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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