I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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