Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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