I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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