Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
