awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize