All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
