party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
