I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
