Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
