Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(432): View more from Texas

TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!

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(772): View more from Florida

Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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(716): View more from New York

I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

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(310): View more from California

So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab

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(706): View more from Georgia

It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table

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(856): View more from New Jersey

If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.

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