I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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