Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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