Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
