I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize