Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
