he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
ttyl tear gas
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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