I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and she was petting her beer can
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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