dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize