Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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