Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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