nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize