Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
