i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
