there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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