So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
