So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
