Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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