just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
