Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
