Just took my morning after pill in the library
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Terrible idea I love it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
