eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
