if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My vagina just clenched in fear
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
