I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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