A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
