i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
