One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
