It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
